And the Two Shall Become One Pt 3_No Room for Competition

Can I be honest?

I've never been in this situation before, and quite frankly, it's unsettling for me. I mean, this is the first time I've been insecure like this. 

And it's all my husband's fault. 

For the first time in my life, I don't feel like the more spiritually mature person in the relationship.

Compared to my husband, I feel rather heathenish at times. 

When Charles is up at 3:00 AM praying, I'm in Stage 3 REM sleep. While he's burning the midnight oil preparing for the upcoming Sunday's lesson, I'm binge watching Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on Netflix.

I asked God for Spirit-filled man of God to whom I could submit spiritually, trusting that he would lead me and my family in faith. Yea, well, be careful what you ask for.

The other day, I had a moment. You know, that moment when you know you should pray, but you really just want to cuss, cry and throw a temper tantrum? One of those moments. My flesh got the best of me and I found myself in my feelings... DEEP!

It started when one of our members unknowingly slighted me on an application indicating that there was only one Pastor/Teacher at our ministry. Then, in talking with my husband about that Sunday's message, I realized that I hadn't preached/taught in over a month. And then offense set in. I felt seriously offended that my husband didn't even ask me to team teach/preach with him that upcoming Sunday.

As a new church plant, there is a lot of administrative set up that goes into ensuring that the legal and fiscal matters of the ministry are in place. I've spent the past few months researching records, filing articles of incorporation, creating flyers, establishing web and social media presence and doing the "grunt work" of ministry--and I've loved every minute of it. My gifting is in administration and helps. The Martha Stewart of Ministry, I'm gifted at making people feel comfortable and welcome. As a psalmist, I lead praise and worship and set the atmosphere for worship. My husband saw that in me and he's given me the space to spread out and do just that.

All Charles needs is a whiteboard, a marker and a student. Doesn't even have to be many students. Some nights, I'm his only student, and he teaches and preaches to me as if there were 100,000 people in the room.

Every other aspect of the ministry is under my purview--from negotiating the  contract on our current location to helping to secure our partnership with our parent church, even leading our women's ministry and outreach, Divine Divas Ministries.

But the Eve in me wanted more. 

Why do I say, Eve? Because that was how Satan got Eve to eat the fruit. She wanted to be like God--not realizing that she already was like God. God had already deposited into Eve the essence of who He was. Her intellect, her spirit, her beauty were all reflections of God. But she listened to Satan and allowed him to talk her out of her purpose. She wanted more, not realizing that she was already more than enough. She was trying to compete in an arena she was not designed for. And so was I. 

In my spirit, I began competing with my husband in his wheelhouse--teaching. That is his gift. He's good at a lot of things, but teaching? He is a  PHENOMENAL teacher. He is a thinker, and as he learns, he has to share that knowledge with others. I'm good at teaching--he is amazing at it. That is his God-thing; what he was created and purposed to do. The passion and anointing with which he teaches is unparalleled by any preacher or professor I know because he was born to teach.

As wives, we don't always take time to focus on what God has gifted, purposed and created us to do. We feel we have to compete with others for the perfect kids, the perfect marriage, the cleanest house, the best cooking, etc. We're so busy juggling family, career and all of life's demands, we don't slow down long enough to take inventory of what God has for us to do. Are we so busy doing "good things" until we never discover the "God thing" for our lives?

My God-thing is making sure that all Charles has to focus on is his God-thing.

God gifted me to handle everything else to free up my husband so that all he has to do is pray, study and feed God's people. All of my gifts are connected with those of my husband to help advance God's Kingdom. 

God created me to complement my husband. So in reality, there is no competition.

Had I allowed my moment of offense to set in, it could have caused conflict in my marriage. I'd be willing to bet that offense is at the root of many marriage conflicts today.

When we don't know our own gifts and purpose, we try to control our spouses to get them to align to our agenda rather than helping them flow in their God-given purpose. Or, like me the other day, we attempt to operate in our husband's wheelhouse. We try to hijack someone else's gift. 

What are you good at? I mean, REALLY good at? What flows naturally for you that others seem to struggle to do? That will point you in the direction of your spiritual gifts. If we focus on developing and working the gifts God has given us, we have no time to compete with others, especially our mates. 

Ladies, let me encourage you to surrender your need to control and allow God to align you with your purpose. Take time to dig deep within the well of your own soul and bring forth the treasure of gifts, talents and purpose that He has deposited into you. When you do this, you will have no need to compete with your husband or anyone else in order to validate yourself. 

Well, what do you know? I may just be maturing after all. 

Until next time, I wish you faith for your journey, less competition in your marriage and great lighting for your selfies!

Sincerely,

Jabaria

The Divine Diva

Leah: When a Man Doesn't Love a Woman

It could be said that Leah was one of the most unloved women in Scripture. As a woman who has struggled most of my life to feel loved and wanted, I can relate. 

The twenty ninth chapter of Genesis opens with Jacob finding his Uncle Laban's daughter, Rachel, watering sheep in the heat of the day. He helps her roll the stone from the well so that she can water the sheep, and she in turn takes him back to her father's house where Jacob is taken in to live with the family. After about a month, Laban asks Jacob what wages he desired for laboring with his men. Jacob does not hesitate to ask for Rachel's hand in marriage in exchange for seven years of labor. 

What is interesting about this text is the descriptions used to describe the women. Rachel is said to be beautiful in form and appearance--in other words, she was fine and pretty. Leah, however, is said to have "soft eyes". Now, many have conjectured what this term means. Some have said she was cock-eyed; others that she was homely looking. However you choose to describe it, at the end of the day, she wasn't the fine sister. She was not the one the boys were clamoring to ask the father's permission to date. She was destined for "old maid" status. I'm sure if Leah were living in the 21st century, she'd feel much like Katherine Heigl's character, Jane in 27 dresses. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

No doubt that Rachel had Jacob's heart. Yet it was Leah whom Jacob was given after his initial seven years of labor. Imagine being forced to marry and lay with a man promised to your younger sister. It was as if, Leah was the unwanted Zonk prize from Let's Make a Deal. 

Despite knowing that Jacob did not love her, Leah still gave her heart to him. 

What do you do when the man to whom you've given your heart has given his heart to someone else?

Leah spent many years trying to buy Jacob's heart through her womb. She gave him four sons, and after each of the first three sons, she declared in desperation, "Now my husband will love me". Unfortunately, the love she so desired from Jacob was never to be received.

It was not until her fourth son, Judah, that she declared, "Now, I will praise the Lord."

Many times we try to purchase affection, approval and affirmation from people not worth the proceeds of our labor.

We have multiple children for men who never offer us a wedding ring in exchange. We pay for college degrees and training for him to get that job or that promotion all while holding down the house, the business and the children, only to be repaid with regret.

I remember giving my heart to a young man in high school. I gave him my heart and my virginity. To be with him, I gave up numerous scholarships to colleges all over the country and chose to stay in Mobile so we could be together. He gave me a shallow promise of "forever" (which, in high school terms, was about 6 months), and in October of my freshman year of undergrad, he broke up with me. I was devastated. Regrettably, that would not be the last time I gave my heart to someone who had no clue what to do with it.

We give our hearts to men who have a heart for someone or something else. And it is because we have never learned how to develop and guard our own hearts with diligence.

Rachel never had to really develop her heart because all of the attention and affection she needed was readily available to her. As beautiful as she was, she was undoubtedly often showered with praise and compliments on her beauty. Here sense of self-esteem and self-worth were constantly bolstered by others.

Leah, by comparison, was much more like me--she had to search the wells of her soul daily to conjure forth her sense of self-worth. She was constantly reminded of her age and lack of male suitors asking for her hand in marriage. After all, at the ripe old age of 17, who would want an old maid for a wife?

Finally, her father took matters into his own hands and forced her to marry a man who didn't love her--and whom she probably didn't love. But oh! How she longed for his affection. If he could just look at her with the same eyes as he did Rachel. Night after night she spent lying beside Jacob, his back turned away from her, knowing that he was thinking of her sister--how that must have hurt.

But God saw Leah's heart, and he blessed her womb. 

Despite the hurt we go through, God sees our hearts. He knows what we need and he will bless our "wombs". Not just our physical wombs, but our spiritual wombs. He will birth great things in us if we would trust him with our hearts.

What is God wanting to birth in you today? What womb in your life seems barren that God wants to impregnate with the power of His word?

The only way to find out is to attune your heart to that of God's. The Bible declares that if we delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart(1).

Do you find yourself delighting in God? Do you get excited over the opportunity to spend time alone in His presence? Do you seek His face, or only His hand? Do you see his statutes and commandments as a blessing to be treasured or a burden to be endured?

It is only when God is the center of our world that He can bring the people and resources we need into our lives to accomplish His purpose and plan. When we delight in Him, we push aside our agenda for His promises. Our vision is no longer focused inward, but rather upward and then outward to others.

Leah finally realized that her purpose was to praise the Lord. Through all of her rejection, hurt and disappointment, she made a commitment to praise God.

What would happen if we made the decision to praise God regardless of our situations, circumstances or even our feelings? Praise comes out of a realization of purpose. When we realize that we were created and ordained to praise the Lord, we can put life in perspective. We develop a God-centered vision for our lives, and we are able to live our lives to the glory of God.

Leah is by far, my favorite character in Scripture. Her resiliency and heart made her a heroine and the mother of a majority of the children of Israel.

I look forward to talking more about this Divine Diva at our Bible Study on Saturday.

Til the Divas meet again, I wish you a killer pair of stacked heels on sale, a heart with all of the gladnesss it can hold and a vision for your life that supersedes the validation of others!

Sincerely,

Jabaria
The Divine Diva

And the Two Shall Become One Pt 2_Making Space

"Baby, can I please unpack my stuff now? I'm tired of living out of these bags," Charles kindly remarked as we were getting dressed for work one morning. We'd been married for almost three months, and my poor husband's clothes were still scattered between his old house and our new home. The pieces he did have here were packed into two large duffel bags.

Getting dressed in the morning consisted of him practically emptying the contents of two bags onto the bed to find the bow-tie, cuff links, socks, underwear and everything else he needed to get dressed for work. I had made a small (and I do mean small) section of space in the closet in our bedroom for his shirts and slacks and a couple suits. 

My husband needed space in what was now our home. 

I was hesitant to give up my closet, not only for the obvious reason of me having way too many clothes with no place to store them all, but more importantly, I realized I needed to deal with my issues surrounding permanency and abandonment. 

As a young girl, many of the men in my life hurt me and then left. And so, in relationships, I never had a sense of permanence--not even in my first marriage. For the first six months of my previous marriage, I kept a bag packed at the front door. Whenever my ex-husband and I would argue, I'd grab the keys and my bag and head into DC to my best friend's apartment for the night. I wanted to be the one to leave before he had the opportunity to leave me.

While I no longer leave in the midst of disagreement, I found myself maintaining a sort of "boundary" when it came to merging my life with someone else. I'll let you in--but only so much.

Where did that leave my husband of only three months? Living out of duffel bags in a corner of our bedroom. 

Then one morning as we were getting dressed, he stopped me, turned me to face him and declared, "Jabaria, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not those other men in your life who hurt you and left you. I'm here for as long as God allows me to be. I'm not going anywhere." It was as if God was speaking through my husband; I hadn't talked with him about my fear. We'd never even gone deep into my abandonment issues, but he sensed my reticence to fully embrace him in our home, and he spoke right to the heart of my issue. 

I stood there, speechless. And then I began to weep. God had told me what I needed to hear. This time, it really is, "Till death do us part." I not only made space in my closet, but I made space in my soul for another person to reside. 

What do you need to make space for in your life? Perhaps God needs us to move some things out of our hearts and our minds in order to make space for Him. Until we know how to make space for God, we can never truly make space for another person.

Make space for your future husband. Or your current husband.

Perhaps you need to forgive your last boyfriend in order to free up that emotional energy and head space. Forgiveness frees our hearts, our hands and our emotions to receive what God has for us. Holding on to past hurt, anger and bitterness only immobilizes us and keeps us from moving forward and receiving the good things God has for our future.

Maybe you need to make space in your finances for someone else. Clean up old debt and begin saving so that you future mate doesn't inherit the bad decisions of your past.

It may be space on your calendar you need to make for your future mate. I love Jesus, but that doesn't mean I want to spend 24/7 in church--and I'm a Pastor!! We have to be well rounded individuals living a balanced and healthy life that glorifies God inside and outside of church. If you spend every night in church, when will you have time to date and get to know a potential mate? Prayer meeting is not the appropriate setting for dialogue and discussion. 

Or just maybe you're like me and need to head to Walmart to buy a closet organizer and make space in your home for another to reside.

Whatever God is calling you to do, be sure to make space for it!!

Until next time, I pray that God de-clutters your soul so that you can make space for what He has in store for your life.

Sincerely,

Jabaria
The Divine Diva

The Circus Comes to Town!

Dating is much like the circus.


There are acts going on in multiple rings across the floor and in the center of it all is the Ringmaster, carefully orchestrating hundreds of animals, acrobats and clowns all while ensuring that the crowd remains engaged and entertained.

And so it is for singles who attempt to date multiple people in the search for that one special someone. There are the flying trapeze artists of us "high maintenance" females (wearing $400 weaves while living in $40 a month Section 8 housing), the fire breathing antics of the brother trying to kiss you with halitosis from hell, the tight rope walking of trying to keep conversation going with the guy who is dumb as a rock but fine as all outdoors.

Playing Ringmaster at the center of it all is you--just trying to keep it together and hold on to a modicum of decency and decorum while tolerating the tom-foolery of others. That is, until you wake up one day and decide that you're just too tired and jaded to do it anymore. So, you go through your phone, deleting some numbers while blocking others, and remove your online dating profile as you come to the solemn conclusion that singleness is better than insanity.

Maybe that's not your story, but it certainly was mine and that of my friends. Which begs the question, why even bother with dating?

I guess a better question is, what is the purpose of dating? I have heard several definitions, but my understanding of the purpose of dating was to find a mate. Someone with whom a life-long bond based on friendship and rooted in love could be formed within the covenant of marriage. And that was my purpose--when I first began dating.

And then I realized that I had options. Lots of them.

That is when my purpose for dating began to change, and it was no longer about finding, "the one", but rather about finding "someone".

Different men served different purposes depending on my mood or need at the moment. One guy was a great cook--whenever I wanted a romantic dinner at home, he was my go-to. Another had an amazing sense of humor, so if I wanted to laugh til I cried or go see the latest comedic movie, his number was on speed-dial. Then there was the empathetic listener for when I needed a good cry, and on and on...

You get my point.

I stopped looking for the man God had for me and began using men to serve my needs--all without the work that comes with relationship. Thing about relationships is that they are designed to be work because they are designed to bring out the servant in us. I know, that's not what they tell us in the Hallmark movies, but real love--real relationships--require real work. Getting out of bed even when you're tired to get the other person something to eat or drink. Rubbing your spouse's feet after a long day at work, despite the fact that your own feet are aching to the bone.

Many of us fail to get past the circus acts of dating into the real work of relationships. We never take off our clown make-up or come down from our flying trapezes into the reality of what love really is--patient, kind, humble, long suffering, rejoicing in the truth, keeping no record of wrongs, not seeking our own way, bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things--the qualities that will never fail. The stuff that real marriages are made of.

So my challenge to my single sisters (and brothers) out there reading this is to be honest about where you are in your dating life. Why are you dating? Are you looking for the one God has for you, or just someone who will be Good for the moment? I pray that God will move on your heart to seek the man or woman that He has prepared just for you, and then become the mate you want to have for yourself.

You want a hard-working partner? Go get a job (or a better one!) Want a mate who can cook and clean? Break out the mop and broom and get to work (and sign up for a few cooking classes if necessary). Want someone with good credit? Pull your credit report and get to work paying off old debt.

We must not wait for someone else to come and rescue us from our bad habits, our laziness or our failures. These things we must face and begin to address on our own, for only then can God release into our lives His mate for us. Just as God loves us, he loves our prospective mates and doesn't want to place them in a position to be hurt or damaged by us. No, we'll never be perfect as the world defines perfection, but we can become God's definition of perfect--mature in our faith and disciplined in how we live our lives.

One final thought: realize that you are not the Ringmaster--God is. Stop trying to orchestrate the circus of your life. That's not your job; it's God's. Know that you are not the Master of your Fate or the Captain of your Soul. If you are, we need to have a whole other type conversation.

Once I realized that I was not in charge, it changed how I approached dating and led me to my husband. Once I got out of God's way, He was able to release who He had for my life. And he didn't need my help. At all.

Let God be God and just follow His direction for your love life.

Until the Divas meet again, I wish you flawless hair days, a fierce dress on sale, and the peace that only our Father can provide.

Sincerely,

Jabaria
The Divine Diva

This Elephant Wears 6" Stilettos...

You may be wondering why I titled this post about an elephant and stilettos, given that the two are such an unlikely pair. In many ways, that is how I see myself. Besides being a curvy size 14/16, I am a daughter or the Most High God first, a wife and mother in a blended family second, and an author, preacher, teacher and psalmist after that. I am an elephant in 6" stilettos trying to balance the weight of all that God has purposed for my life with the style of a Diva and a grace that can only come form God, thus making it Divine.

I actually began this blog over a year ago as a single mother, and originally wrote most of it as a post on Facebook and part of it as part of my self reflection for my application to become a foster/adoptive parent to my oldest daughter, Shay. I never formally wrote this as a blog because at the time I didn't want to "blog" about my pachyderm-like tendencies. But the more I share this story with women in workshops and conferences, the more I learned that there is a genuine need for transparency and a voice to tell our story.

Years ago, during a team building workshop at the firm where I worked, we were asked, "If you could describe yourself as any animal, what would it be?" An elephant immediately came to mind. Partly due to my sorority, Delta Sigma Theta, partly due to my then self image of being the biggest person in the room and partly due to my tendency to stick my nose into matters that I probably shouldn't. But then I began to research the elephant and found that aside from our shared lack of ankles and knees, we really do have a lot in common.

And so, as a new wife and mother to now 6 children (3 of whom live with us), my stilettos have gotten higher and balancing a bit more difficult at times. But God has given me everything I've ever asked Him for in my husband and children. I love my life. I even love my love life, and hopefully as you journey with me, you will come to love yours even more as well.

This blog is dedicated to the elephants in all of us. Together, let's take a look at this lovely, large pachyderm and unpack her bit by bit as we all strive to become what God has created us to be: Divine Divas.

Until the Divas meet again, may your make up remain flawless, your hair on fleek and your mind in perfect peace.

Sincerely,

Jabaria
The Divine Diva

What are You Thirsty For?

We've all heard the term T.H.O.T., an acronym meaning, "Thirsty Hoes Over There". The term is degrading and misogynistic at best. Aimed primarily at females, this saying, which is splattered all over social media pages, devalues and dehumanizes women and calls the very essence of our being into question. It reduces our God-given sexuality to something that can be trivialized, commercialized and sold for some shoes, a designer purse or a new outfit. 

Sadly, it is a truth that is as old as civilization itself. It is not a 21st first century thing, a race thing, an ethnic thing or even an economic thing. Even more indicting is the fact that T.H.O.T.'s are not just women. A fifteen minute perusal of news headlines reveals a society filled with women and men immersed in a culture that is sexually confused and morally bankrupt with no appetite for truth. Yet, it is thirsty.  

The reality is that while we are not all "hoes" in the sexual sense of the word, we as human beings are all "thirsty" for something. We are thirsty for love, acceptance, affirmation and security. We thirst to be wanted, needed and appreciated. We thirst to feel complete. And many times, we take this thirst and try to quench it with things of this world. We "whore" after idol gods--money, status, titles, jobs, cars, houses--all of which leave us more thirsty than before. Even those of us in church substitute tradition for truth. We attend church out of habit and leave Sunday worship just as thirsty and empty as when we walked in the door. 

We are all in some sense, T.H.O.T.S.

The woman we find in John 4's gospel knew exactly what it meant to be thirsty. Four husbands and a live in boyfriend into this thing called life, she knew that something was missing. Filled with shame and shunned by the other women in her village, she went to the well at the hottest part of the day. She couldn't take another whisper or side-eye. Not another murmur or insult under the breath. She would rather take her thirst to the well at high noon than to feel the condemnation and shame that shrouded her life. 

Expecting to be alone, imagine her surprise to find a hot, tired and very thirsty Jesus sitting at the well with no bucket--not even a ladle--with which to get water. She had the bucket, but no water. He had all of the water she needed, but nothing to draw with. And so, Jesus asks for a drink.

The request was direct. And very unorthodox. Here was a man alone conversing with her, and a Jewish man at that. Yet, his very voice stirred something inside her that had never been touched before. Nevertheless, she didn't have time for it. She was not going to allow another man to use her. Best to cut this off before it goes too far. 

And so, the Samaritan woman made it a race thing informing Jesus (as if he didn't already know), "You Jews have no dealings with Samaritans". When that didn't dissuade Jesus's request, she made it an ethnic/heritage thing asking, "Are you greater than our father Jacob who drank from this well?" 

Then Jesus got personal. He asked her to go get her husband. He got in her business. He got to the heart of her thirst, and it touched a nerve. He was good, she'd give him that. But prophet or not, he needed to know that she knew tradition and the law concerning worship. 

Finally, she made it a church thing, declaring, "Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, and you Jews say that in Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship." (You know, the whole, "We're Holy Baptist Church #1; you're Holy Baptist Church #3" type thing). Then he spoke of something she'd never heard before--spirit and truth. True worship. Real relationship. 

Not the on again, off again type of relationships she'd had with the men in her past. Not the judgemental, smile in your face and stab you in the back type of friendships she'd experienced with other women. But a real, authentic, spiritual relationship. One that would never leave her looking for affirmation outside of herself ever again. A relationship that knew all of her mess--all of her sin and issues and hang-ups--and still wanted to be there. 

This type of relationship can only be found with Jesus. Jesus has all of the water I'll ever need. His is a water of love, acceptance, security. It is a water that will fill me up with joy despite life's circumstances and will wash away my sin and shame from my past choices and mistakes. 

This is the only relationship that I know I can never mess up because it is not dependent on me.

As wonderful as my husband is, I know that there will come a time when life's journey will end and we will leave one another. But the love that Jesus offers carries me from here into eternity. And so, I, like the woman at the well, invite you to come see a man who told me everything about myself.

And yet he still invited me to drink. 

Until the Divas meet again,

Jabaria 

And the Two Shall Become One_Pt 1

So, I'm just over 90 days into this thing called marriage...again. But this time, everything is different. This time, I went in with my eyes open, my heart full and my spirit filled. I wasn't looking for my husband to validate, affirm or define me. God has already done that. I went in knowing what I wanted and with no fear in asking for it. And I went into it after less than a month of dating.

My husband, Charles, and I have known each other for seven years; however, when we first met, we both were married to other people. We befriended in each other in ministry and worked together on a couple of board projects for a non-profit. Then life carried us in separate directions, both ending up in divorce court.

Charles and his son, Christopher, moved to Florida after his divorce, and we sporadically communicated via social media checking in on each other, but I never considered him as a dating possibility--until we had brunch in April. I'd just broken off a four year on again, off again situation and was not much in the mood for going out, but I'd made a promise to a mutual friend of ours that I'd have brunch with him, and I wanted to keep my word. So, we met a small cafe downtown and ate. He listened contently as I poured out the last four years of my love life to him and when I was done, he simply asked the question, "So, what do you want to do from here?"

He told me about a new ministry opportunity that God had given him to plant a church from the ground up on a local college campus, and it sounded terrific--for him. I knew that God was moving me out of my ministry assignment, but I didn't know into what. I'd just started a women's Bible study called Divine Divas, and I figured I'd focus my energy there until God showed me my next move, not realizing that His next move in my life was sitting directly across from me.

Over the next couple weeks, Charles and I saw/talked to each other every day. It felt natural and organic, as if God had already been knitting us together through our past relationships and experiences. Charles made sense to me. I didn't have to force anything with him. I could be myself and allow him to be himself without any of the pretense of hidden agendas. Most of all, we shared a singular passion--Jesus Christ. Our children connected and bonded instantly. That made all the difference in the world. He spoke my language and I his.

One night as we sat in his car on the campus of my Alma Mater, he turned to me and said, "Let's make the model for marriage." That was his proposal. And it would change my life forever. Less than 14 days later, we stood in front of one of the elders of the ministry and exchanged our vows. Two weeks later, we had a formal ceremony on the grounds of the very ministry God was birthing in us.

And from that day on, the two have been becoming one...

Come go with us as we make this journey together in life. Over the next however many posts God allows me to write, I'll share insights into marriage from my second time around. I promise not to forget what it was like for the five plus years I was a single sistah out in the world of Match.com, POF.com and all the other dating sites out there promising Mr. Right-Now (I do NOT miss dating!).

My goal is to instill hope that God has not forgotten you in your season of singleness and to share what I learned both in my season of singleness and marriage to help encourage all my Single Divine Divas out there waiting for their Boaz. He's out there; we just have to be patient and allow God to shape us into the women He wants us to be for our mate.

Until the Divas meet again,

Jabaria
The Divine Diva